20.06.2010 ~ Live 5 Action News

Welcome to 'Live 5 Action News', where we treat you the viewer condescendingly with our team of smug reporters who give you the right news, remember 'we report and you accept our reports at face blank value.'

Coming later tonight...

Is our president really black?
Is our president just a white guy who spent too much time in the Hawaiian sun?

Are those socialist muslims in the White House trying to ban religion?
If so how come nobody else has reported it?

Is deodorant turning your teenage boy gay?
Are the ingredients in your teens deodorant giving him urges to get down on another man?

Has your child been indoctrinated by Kim Jong il?
Reports show North Koreas dictator is using the internet and may have indoctrinated your son through Facebook!

Are foreign fast food and video games a threat to national security?
Is Chinese food making our children fat and are Japanese video games stiffening the muscles in their thumbs so they can't fire a machine gun in defense of the nation?

Stay tuned for these reports and many more stupider ones;
Remember we're so evidently biased that people of other countries can't help but to have heard about us!