14.06.2010 ~ A message from BP

Hello dear American taxpayer.

After over a century of pumping oil out the ground we have to admit this Gulf of Mexico spill is our biggest 'fuck up' yet;
But we digress, and looking on the bright side it did divert attention from the fact that our drilling operations in the Falkland Islands failed and reminded Britons we have no allegiance to them whatsoever and also showed them up on the world stage for looking petty on still wanting to maintain a couple of barren islands 11,000 miles away from them.

No this disaster is big, some may even say bigger than Watergate, and the natural equivalent of 9/11.

Some of you patriots and freedom loving Americans may have been a bit concerned when we closed off part of your truly beautiful natural gulf coastline;
You may also be concerned over the fact that your tax money is being given to our multi billion dollar corporation to pay for a cleanup operation that will not happen.

And the faceless politicians that pay us allegiance (not the other way around) will let us get away with this.

We've just gotten so big that we're telling you how bad we're fucking you yet are at the same time small enough to smile while we're doing it!

And whatever you do don't try and take matters into your own hands, if you need an example to convince yourself not to just look at what we did to the pro-democratic nationalist movement in Iran in the 1950's!

Stay in line, the good guys don't always win.

Yours Faithfully

BP